How A Single 'Shortlisted' Email Gave Me Back My Confidence

Like many Caribbean students, going to University was one of the plans I had in place to reach my ultimate level of success. I followed the very familiar road map that was laid out for me, and if I'm being honest I think I was successful. I ensured that I did well in my CSEC and CAPE examinations. I participated in a number of extracurricular activities ranging from being a part of the Cadet Unit to Interact Club and even forming the Photo-Journalism club at Excelsior High. Over the years I developed a passion for student leadership and this gave me the opportunity to serve my schoolmates as Acting President of the Students' Council and ultimately as Head Girl in my final year of high school.

I personally believed that this would look excellent on paper. You see, I am not from a very rich family and the idea was to apply for as many scholarships as I could to get that opportunity to achieve my ultimate level of success. I worked as hard as I could, trying to become the ideal candidate for scholarship donors. This was not hard for me, because everything that I participated in was done with genuine passion. For example, my grandmother took care of me for fifteen years of my life, and from her, I learned how to be kind and I understood the importance of helping others in need. This is where I got the drive from, to do as much as I could for my community.

When it came time to apply for scholarships I was confident in my academics, my volunteer experience, and myself as a candidate who is genuinely interested in pursuing higher education, and one who understands the value of education. After going through the process of writing my scholarship essays and gathering my documents, I sent in my applications to over ten (10) organizations.

I waited. I waited some more. I waited just a little bit more. Silence. It had reached that time now when students would find out if they were shortlisted for a scholarship or if they had received it. And if you are like me who applies for a number of scholarships year after year, you would know that silence usually means you did not make the cut. I checked my spam folder in my Gmail - nothing. I even checked the promotions folder - LinkedIn, Snapchat Instagram, Facebook, UWI reminding me to make my tuition payments - no scholarship emails. I was completely devastated because I had no idea where the money would come from to pay for my University fees.

As if God heard my cries and realized how desperate I was, an opportunity arose for me to pay my fees in full. Thank you Jesus! I was extremely happy and grateful for this. However, (yes I know you're wondering girl why are you saying however, your fees are paid, but...) something still lingered in the back of my head. Was I that bad of a candidate why I was not chosen by even one of the scholarship donors? My confidence dropped. The faith I had in my academics, volunteer work, and everything fell completely to the ground, and suffice to say, I felt like a failure. I tried to look on the bright side because my tuition was paid, but I did not understand why I failed miserably to get just one email.

Sometimes I feel as if the Universe and myself are in sync, and that it wants to remind me that I am worthy of good things - that I am smart and will, by any means, achieve the goals that I've set for myself. I got a call. I got the call that I desperately needed. "Good morning Miss Cornwall, this is... from Jamaica Energy Partners - you have been shortlisted for the scholarship..." I got the call that completely boosted my confidence level in a way that I will never be able to express in words.

Although I did not receive the scholarship, I left the interview feeling energized and completely ready to take on the new school year. Jamaica Energy Partners, without knowing it, inspired me to continue being the authentic Isheba that I am. They inspired me to work even harder to achieve my academic goals and motivated me to continue helping others in any way that I can. They believed in me when I thought no one else did, and I will forever be grateful for that.